Archetypical Management Issues

A word to all those who tell me their classroom management troubles, listen to my advice, and then disagree with me: you're free to make your own decisions. You're also wrong. I've been getting a lot of phone calls recently, and I thought I'd adress the three most common problems I come across. Lest any first year become hurt and feel called out, I've spoken to at least THREE from each of the following categories. No joke.

To the workaholic: You should be working smarter, not harder. An unhappy, sleep-deprived teacher is rarely a good one. I know you think that everything you're doing is absolutely necessary. You're wrong. Settle down. No matter how much work you do, there will always be more. Do you really have to take your own roll? File your own papers? Not only is that something a student can do, most enjoy the responsibility. Appoint a class seceratary, and stop wasting your time.
To the 'cool teacher': You will never relive high-school as a popular kid. Stop trying. Coolness is like the Dao, or water-- try to clutch it, and it slips through your fingers. The 'cool teacher' is the lamest of all. You are not a peer: your students don't need another friend. You're doing a disservice to them by depriving them of a role model. What does it matter whether or not a bunch of kids like you? Unless they RESPECT you, you have nothing at all.
To the inflexible: You are not here out of moral duty to the curriculum or the objectives. Jamall doesn't need to know how to graph a line so much as he needs to know how to behave like a responsible human being. It would be great if he could do both, but which is most important? Subject matter is secondary here. You have the opportunity to aid their development as people. If you're planning on holding these kids up to a national academic standard, go ahead and fail them all. No matter that they're only products of the school system and their backgrounds. Just fail them if they don't master the objectives. Anything else would be dishonest, right? Make those kids stay back until they've mastered those objectives. Then, right before they chase you out of town, ask yourself how many people you helped.

We all learn from experience. Quit making it so hard on yourself. Remember it's not as complicated as all that. You're here, presumably, to help the children. Don't lose sight of that.